Stellantis e la tempesta auto

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Alfa Romeo Milan, Junior and surroundings: the 'alfisti' guide has disappeared

Is there still room for real Alfa Romeos? A difficult question

by Pier Luigi del Viscovo

16 April 2024

4' min read

That the launch of an Alfa Romeo causes a stir is only to be expected. It is still a national heritage to which many Italians are attached, although not to the point of buying cars. It's just that the discussions reveal a sense of unfulfillment, almost a disappointment that then found vent on issues that are not very relevant and, let's face it, even a tad specious.

One object of criticism is the body: it looks like that car and that car. Of course, today they all look a bit alike. It is no longer the time when from the pencil of true artists came the Thema, the Croma and the Saab 9000, all on the same floorpan and yet so different. Until along came the genius of Pininfarina, who even derived the 164 from that project, leaving the world open-mouthed. So instead of criticising that a compact SUV looks like any other compact SUV, why doesn't anyone ask why such uniformity? Where have the priorities of aesthetics gone? What has replaced them? Fuel consumption? Safety? The desire to always and only attack the majority segment of demand, neglecting niches?

Then the name: Milan, not Piazza Duomo. It started out as a specious polemic and ended up à la Ennio Flaiano: serious, but not serious.

There is clearly an underlying malaise. Heck, it's not often that you greet a new Biscione car. One expects something different, something unique. An Alfa Romeo, if that's fair to say, not just any SUV with the badge stuck on it. Years ago, a brilliant Silvio Berlusconi teased Fiat, suggesting they put the Ferrari badge on the Panda in order to sell a truckload of them. As a fine marketing man, he knew it was just a boutade that would not work. A brand is a brand. Not every product can stand up to every brand.

Alfa Romeo is one of the very few brands in the world to embody a type of motorist: the Alfista. A person who wants to feel the road, has a sporty drive and wants to appear so. In Turin they know what that is: for the Stelvio ad they used 'pure alfista'. But then all the adverts, from Giulia to Tonale via Stelvio, avoid it. The protagonist is charming, but in the mainstream sense, very polished bordering on weak. The payoff insists on the 'mechanics of emotions' and 'Italian heritage', as if Alfa Romeo needed that, given that it is itself a symbol of Italianness. But above all, the cars do not race, the 'fast&furious' adrenalin is missing.

These are heresies in today's social landscape, but maybe there are motorists who would appeal to them. Maybe not so many, but how many do Alfa Romeo need? We are talking about a niche brand, whose sole raison d'être is to seduce those few who do not recognise themselves in other four-wheelers - and their drivers. A few days ago, the brand's owner reiterated his ambition to work on the great unfinished car, the Duetto. He is absolutely right. The market can also accept a few SUVs, as long as one or two objects of desire exist, as long as they are there on the road. The Duetto is the spider par excellence and would serve the entire Alfa Romeo range like air. But what idea of a car would it embody? And who would drive it? A brilliant young man, a little bit of a playboy, a little bit of a playboy, a nephew of that revolutionary Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate?

Do these drivers exist? Yes, but they have been obscured from the scene: them, their driving and their cars. They are not just a minority, which is fine for a niche, they are 'wrong' according to a certain mainstream idea. There have never been as many sports driving courses as there are today, and they call them 'safe driving'. Electric cars, which are struggling to find customers, have only one thing going for them compared to thermals: torque. Has anyone ever seen them all burn out at traffic lights on TV? Even Porsche, which is in the same pyramid as Alfa Romeo but higher up, nowadays presents itself as 'luxury'. But maybe the Biscione marketers will find them, outside the ZTLs, and it will be good, because they don't seem to have many alternatives, judging by the reception of the latest SUV replica of... After all, what does it mean, in simple and concrete terms, to relaunch the brand, if not to re-propose its identity characteristics? That is still the easy part.

The difficult one is: once they have found them, will they want to seduce them by speaking their language, proposing their codes, representing their emotions, embodying their values?

In two words? Relaunch Alfa Romeo.