You learn from your mistakes

How to improve concentration, efficiency and job satisfaction in your day-to-day work

By regulating our inner impulses, we can create the ideal conditions for entering a state of ‘flow’, thereby improving the quality of our work and our mental presence

by Nicola Chighine* and Giulio Xhaet**

 (Adobe Stock)

4' min read

Translated by AI
Versione italiana

4' min read

Translated by AI
Versione italiana

In the previous article, we saw how some of our deep-seated drives, the drivers described by Eric Berne, often prove to be obstacles to entering the state of flow, that is, the feeling of great satisfaction linked to the possibility of having given our all to an activity that is meaningful to us. The good news is that we can manage these impulses, transforming them into valuable resources.

When we manage these impulses with greater awareness, we increase the likelihood of creating the conditions needed to enter a state of flow: concentration, engagement, a balanced sense of challenge and mindfulness.

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‘Be Perfect’: from perfectionism to excellence

Those driven by the ‘Be perfect’ mindset tend to produce high-quality work, but risk becoming stuck in a never-ending quest for the ideal detail – that one tweak that will make everything perfect. It is a futile quest, given that perfection is not of this world.

To encourage flow, it can be helpful to define in advance the level of quality that is actually required for a particular task. Setting clear quality criteria allows you to focus on making progress rather than on achieving total error-free work. The prompt or counter-prompt I can use is: ‘Done is better than perfect.’

‘Be Strong’: from self-reliance to interdependence

The ‘Be Strong’ driver leads one to take responsibility, cope with pressure and face difficulties without complaining, in a spirit of total and stubborn independence. However, it can lead to isolation, a reluctance to ask for support and taking on too much.

To get into a state of flow more easily, it is important to free up mental and energetic space. Asking for help, discussing matters with a colleague or delegating certain tasks does not mean you are weak or in the wrong, but rather that you are making the best use of the resources available. The affirmation or counter-prompt I can use is: “I can be vulnerable; I can ask for help.”

The ‘People-Pleaser’: from excessive helpfulness to protecting one’s focus

People with a strong ‘Compiaci’ trait often build positive, collaborative relationships. They are always ready to help, at the risk of letting other people’s priorities end up taking up all their time.

Flow, on the other hand, requires the ability to safeguard moments of deep concentration. This means learning to say ‘no’ occasionally, negotiating deadlines or simply postponing non-urgent requests. The permission or counter-narrative I can use is: ‘I can say no; I can put myself first.’

‘Hurry up’: from haste to mindfulness

The urge to ‘hurry up’ is invaluable when it helps us react quickly and maintain a fast pace. But when it takes over, it can turn into a constant race from one task to the next and can turn us into frantic whirligigs, moving aimlessly between urgent matters, deadlines and plans.

Flow rarely arises from rushing. It requires enough time to immerse oneself in a task. For this reason, it can be helpful to set aside dedicated blocks of time for a single activity, minimising context switches and interruptions. The affirmation or counter-prompt I can use is: ‘I can slow down; I can do one thing at a time’.

‘Sforzati’: from commitment to effectiveness

The ‘Sforzati’ is the drive that enables us not to give up in the face of difficulties. Its dark side emerges when we start to believe that sacrifice is always a virtue and that hard work is the only proof of our commitment. In such cases, we risk unconsciously seeking out complexity, overburdening ourselves and turning every challenge into a struggle. But flow arises from that blend of passion, energy and skill, which sits ill with blind determination masked by a sense of duty or the ethic of ‘hard work, no ifs or buts’.

The permission or counter-prompt I can use is: “I can also devote myself to less strenuous activities, and, if necessary, take the less arduous route”.

Flow is not linked to extraordinary talent or a privilege reserved for a select few; we can unleash it through daily commitment to the activities that engage us, and which allow us to work on something by devoting ourselves to it without distractions for at least a few hours, or even a whole day (yes, constant notifications are the arch-enemies of flow – where possible, get rid of them!). Something we need to really commit to because the challenge is difficult enough for us (but not too difficult: we can do it). Obviously, if our name is Jannik Sinner and we win a Wimbledon final against a certain Alcaraz after hours and hours of nail-biting action, the sense of flow will be immense, but who says we have to enter a competitive trance to experience it? Flow lies behind any activity that allows us to pour all our effort into something we enjoy, at least a little. And, spoiler alert, it isn’t synonymous with ‘victory’. As someone once said, sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. And we can experience flow through both winning and learning.

In our work as consultants, trainers, speakers and event hosts, we have realised that we quite often experience moments of flow: when we have to design an innovative course and expectations are high, and within a few hours we have to come up with and finalise content that will have a real impact on the participants.

Or when we step onto a stage in front of hundreds of people and know we have to win over the trust of those listening to us for the first time – so, as well as being well-prepared, we need to be able to improvise when the unexpected happens.

Or when you’ve got very little time to finish an article for *Il Sole 24 Ore* on flow, and you know you can’t miss the deadline and have to reach the end feeling satisfied.

*Consultant at Newton Spa

** Partner: Newton Spa

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