The Monday Scratch

Football, the new advances: papier-mâché defences, goals like confetti

Juventus-Inter 4-3 recalls legendary Aldo, Giovanni e Giacomo beach game. Modric keeps Milan afloat. Who will stop Conte's Napoli?

Christopher Nkunku in azione durante la partita   tra Milan e Bologna

5' min read

5' min read

Venghino signori, venghino. The show is worth the price of the ticket. You will see things that you humans, football fans, have never seen. The goalkeeper with butterfingers, the defender dozing like a sloth, the bomber who scores without exulting but laughs instead when the opponents score.

And then goals, lots of goals, a shower of goals that in the end, like confetti, colour this strange September carnival. Come on gentlemen, there is fun to be had, because in this circus of the absurd, surprises, like goals, are never lacking.

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But what is happening to Italian football? Is there a contagious virus? Has someone put hallucinogenic mushrooms on the plates of our more or less great champions? A week ago Gattuso's national team beat Israel at the end of a match reminiscent of an Aldo, Giovanni e Giacomo film. A drunken 5-4, with the Azzurri defenders as immobile as goalkeepers, saved only by Kean's goals and by an improbable effort in extremis by Tonali. One thought, let's face it, was that this was a problem for our national team, always an open building site, excluded from the last two World Cups,

Juventus-Inter, or 'Hellzapoppin'"

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Evidently not. The virus has also taken root in the championship. And not at the back, among the last of the queue, but in the aristocracy of football, as was seen this Saturday in the surreal Juventus - Inter 4-3, the former derby d'Italia, a kind of Hellzapoppin' where you can never get comfortable because something unexpected at the most beautiful goes sideways.

Of course, beautiful things were also seen, such as Calhanoglu's two goals (8), Yildiz's razor-sharp shot (7.5) and the tracer missile of young Adzic (8), the latest arrival but well accommodated, having single-handedly solved the eagerly awaited challenge at the Stadium. All in celebration for the Bianconeri supporters, but who would have bet a penny on this 19-year-old pulled out of Igor Tudor's hat (6.5)?

Up until ten minutes before, Juve were rightly losing 3-2, and then, thanks to an inexplicable stupidity on the part of the Nerazzurri, the omelette was turned on its head by Chivu (5), coach in the storm, now of course already on trial because it's not nice to see, after only three matches, Juve and Napoli already six points behind.

The great Juve is back, say the same people who, without the Inter boarding, would have derided it as a modest defensive team. But the question is always the same: why are these once almost impenetrable defences now cutting through like butter? What is happening? Having a two-goal lead, with only minutes to go, in times not so long ago was almost a security. Lots of balls in the stands, a bit of melina and a few tactical fouls that suggested the referee to blow the whistle for the end. Now they're being all phenomena: restarting from the bottom, not marking the man, getting churned out like beginners on inactive balls. Are they already thinking about the shower? What to write about on Istragram?

Thuram, the Interista one, laughing with his brother after Juventus' 4-3 goal, looks like a mockery. An emblematic manifestation of the Interista lurch. Curiously, Marcus (4), author of the overtaking goal, had also been one of the best. But where was his head in the end?

Poor Chivu, we don't envy him. The vitriolic cannons are already aimed. He is a perfect sacrificial victim. Someone brings up the Freud's couch, saying that the shock of the 5-0 loss to Paris St. Germain has not yet been processed. Perhaps, however, while waiting to process it, the sheikhs' lavish salary Thuram and co. continue serenely to pocket it.

Milan-Bologna (1-0)

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That's it, with Allegri the risk of crazy goleades is not taken. Guaranteed. Milan, thanks to Modric's (7.5) first goal in Rossoneri, won one-nil at the San Siro, a nice short snout of the kind Max likes (6.5). In fact, the Rossoneri, especially in the second half, could have swelled the spoils if the lacklustre attack (4 posts) and the strange decision by the Var to take away a penalty already awarded, had not got in the way. The penalties, in fact, in the same action would have been two, something that made Allegri furious, immediately ready (by now it is a format) to take off his jacket to reinforce his invectives against the referee who sent him off.

A good first for Rabiot (6.5) and open applause for Modric who, with a beautiful right-footed shot, on an assist from Saelemakers, mocks even his 40th birthday. Badly instead for Bologna, almost resigned to defeat. For Italiano (4) the road goes uphill.

Fiorentina -Napoli 1-3

An almost perfect match, that of the Parthenopeans. Overwhelming in the first half, with a slight slowdown only in the final. A show of strength, that of Conte (7), really impressive with all the new players, starting with Hojlund (7), immediately in the net. A clear message to the supposed competition: to snatch the Scudetto from us, you will have to work very, very hard. Instead, Pioli's Fiorentina (4) was rejected. Late changes, lack of determination, inconceivable distractions.

Roma-Torino (0-1)

Surprise: Gasperini's side stumble at the Olimpico against Torino. Dybala got injured and for Gasp, after two victories, came an unexpected thud that will leave some scars seven days before the derby with Lazio. Torino, in goal with a wild Simeone, could even have doubled. Being the King of Rome, with Dybala already in the infirmary, is not easy. Gasperini (5) will notice.

Atalanta-Lecce (4-1)

Toh, who's laughing: the roar of the Dea. After so many sneers, Juric (7) gets his first applause. Three precious points to get out of the post-Gasperini depression. First Scalvini unblocked the goal, then Atalanta went on the offensive with a double from De Ketelaere and a Zalewski kick. Even without Lookman and Scamacca, life is still good.

Pisa-Udinese (0-1)

Scoring a goal in football remains the most important thing. The Pisans missed three, the Friulians with Iker Bravo scored one, which was enough and allowed Runjaic (7) to enjoy third place after Napoli and Juventus.

Sassuolo-Lazio (1-0)

It looked bad for the fuming Sarri (5), who was defeated by the Emilians who collected their first three points thanks to a goal from Federa. Dark in the face, Sarri walked out of the Mapei as soon as referee Tremolada blew the final whistle. 'Mister Sarri has already left the stadium for family reasons,' the biancoceleste club announced with embarrassment. During the week, the coach had complained a lot against the cynical and baroque fate ('calendar to be remade') that returned his national team all ailing. Sarri has to make the best of it. Complaining, however, is number one.

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