Watch out for those two! Poor Diavolo is at the mercy of Ibra and Cardinale. Another Portuguese on the Milan bench?

All right, it’s not the world’s biggest problem, but many people are thinking of launching an appeal to save it. Perhaps by addressing it directly to President Mattarella, or to some major environmental organisation that protects not only nature but also our historical, cultural and sporting heritage.

After all, Milan, with its 50 official trophies (32 domestic, 18 international, including seven Champions League titles – second only to Real Madrid) can be considered a national treasure, an Italian institution which even their cousins at Inter would be sorry to see fall into ruin or disappear altogether; something which the current Rossoneri leadership is, however, bringing about through stubborn incompetence.

There isn’t a single Milan fan – or football fan, for that matter – who, upon hearing the names Gerry Cardinale and Zlatan Ibrahimović, the odd couple at the helm of Milan, doesn’t feel a pang of revulsion, an uncontrollable aversion. Nothing personal, mind you, but what those two are doing (or not doing) is plain for all to see.

Eighth in last season’s league, having collapsed in the final stages this year, out of the Champions League and with the entire top brass (except for them) sacked, Milan have been without a shred of a plan for three weeks, let alone the necessary chain of command that is essential for any football team, from Serie A down to the lower leagues. Whilst all the key players can’t wait to get out of there, the club is scouring the market for the strangest and most unlikely candidates imaginable (for the roles of manager and technical director). “Let’s make it weird” with just one rule: they must all be foreigners, little-known and, above all, have never had anything to do with Italian football. But even these candidates (for example Rangnick, the current Austrian national team manager) have fallen victim to the mighty axe of Ibrahimovic, currently at the World Cup as a pundit for Fox Sports, where every word he utters is treated as gospel (whether it comes true or not is, of course, irrelevant). Zatlan, however, didn’t like the idea of the German coach having full powers. That, as technical director, he would even make decisions entirely on his own. So, after a lot of back-and-forth, the whole thing fell through.

As for the manager, having ruled out Glasner (who was he?), the Rossoneri’s search now seems to be focusing on the Portuguese Ruben Amorim, another figure about whom you’d need to do a thorough Google search to find out who he is and what he’s done. Google itself warns us that the illustrious candidate is fresh from a resounding flop at Manchester United. And here the Rossoneri fans, ever patient, are crossing their fingers once again. However, should King Ibra not take a particular liking to the Portuguese, owner Cardinale would turn to Jaissle, the German manager of Al-Ahli, who appears to be cheaper than Amorim.